Communication is an essential skill that everyone needs to develop in order to have satisfying relationships. We are social beings and our likeability depends on how skillfully we manage to get our message across and how effectively we can express our feelings. Because our personal relationships greatly determine how successful we feel in our lives, we need to master the fine art of effective communication.Romantic relationships can be wonderful especially in the beginning when we tend to see only the best sides of our partner's personality. However,as the relationship begins to develop with the passage of time,problems might start to emerge. Unsolved problems lead to relationship crises and poorly managed conflicts are the ideal recipe for disaster.While relationship problems can be very varied there are some universal skills that we can use to turn an ugly conflict into a resounding success. Here are a few of those skills:Non-prejudicial listening Conflicts often emerge because during a conversation we misinterpret what the other person is saying. If the topic of the conversation is important to us it's easy to feel hurt instantly,before we even start thinking about asking for an explanation. If we ask for an explanation while our state of mind is altered by the negative feelings that began to emerge,the conflict will only continue to escalate.Therefore, it's important to wait until you calm down a bit before you continue the conversation or,better yet, to decide that you will put your feelings aside and you will listen without any prejudice to your partner's side of the story.Emotional interpretationIt is important to realize that negative emotions carry important messages that must not be ignored. To understand these messages we must analyze these emotion properly because analyzing offers the best course for action.To get rid of negative feelings we need to change either our perspective or our procedure. We might have misinterpreted our partner's behavior in which case changing our perspective is the answer. If our perspective is not the problem, then we need to change our procedure,which might mean that we need to communicate our needs and and desires better,to analyze our standards or to correct our behavior.Non-accusatory languageWhen communicating to our partner about a conflict you might unintentionally use words that might force your partner to get defensive. To prevent that from happening try using a moderate tone and use a language that emphasizes your feelings without sounding like an accusation.To achieve this try not to use generalizations like always and never and also express yourself by saying, for example ”I feel hurt when you...” instead of “you always/never do.... ”.This kind of language shows that you take personal responsibility for your feelings without seeking to blame the other person.
